We may not have it all together but together we have it all

Friday, June 14, 2013

Happy Father's Day

I have to post this blog today because I don't think I will be able to do it on Sunday.  Sunday will be a day I spend with my husband and children, to make memories with them like the ones I have of my dad.  I will also have a very heavy heart that day because this is our first Father's Day without him.  I miss him so much it hurts, daily.  But because of him, I know that I can't spend each day sad, he wouldn't want that.  So I will take that day and think of him, talk to him, talk about it and cherish every memory I have in my heart.

If you would have told me this time last year that it would be the last Father’s Day I would spend with my dad, I would have told you, you were crazy!
As I look back on our last day with him, before the news, I remember how happy we all were. He was at my house for a BBQ a day early because he was leaving for Maryland on Father’s Day. We could tell he wasn’t feeling well and he said they were looking into it. We sent him home with gifts, cards and lots of love.
I don’t want to re-live the following weeks, but will say that during those weeks I learned a lot. I learned how truly broken a heart can be. I learned that when you think you can’t cry anymore, you can. I learned that telling your children that their Grandpa was really sick was hard but telling them that he was in Heaven, was the hardest thing I ever had to say. But with all the sad things I had to learn, I also learned a lot of great things. I learned that my sisters and I were given an amazing Dad. I learned that my step-mom Terry was truly an Angel. I learned that the Carrell side of the family’s bond is so strong, it can never be broken. I learned that my husband is my rock. I learned that my children are my heart. I learned that my cousins will always have my back. I learned that my friends are the best. But most of all, I learned that I am not alone. That in my darkest hour, I am blessed to have such amazing family and friends. I learned that my Dad will forever be in my heart and he is always looking down on me, guiding me through life. I learned that life on Earth doesn’t last forever and that is okay because when I get to Heaven,  my heart will be whole again because I will have my Dad there to welcome me.
Happy Father’s Day dad! I love you and miss you so much. Thank you for being the best dad a girl could ask for. Thank you for being the best Grandpa to all your grandkids. We all miss you so much and look forward to the day we meet again! XOXO