GOODBYE 2012
&
WELCOME 2013
I have been thinking about this blog since before the New Year but haven’t taken the time to sit down and write it. So here goes nothing……
2012 - Good riddance!! You knocked me down, broke my heart and left me broken for quite a while. To say this was the hardest year of my life is an understatement. I know what I feel is the “hardest” may seem like rainbows to other people’s problems, but to me it was HARD!! Sometime back in Spring, my sweet loving 10 year old, turned into a pre-teen walking monster. Man, I didn’t think this stuff started so early on, but my boy is defiantly trying to find his way in life and taking me on one hell of a ride. Then came that horrible day in June, when truly, life was sucked out of me. The five weeks following were full of 100% sadness. August 1st, is the day I hit rock bottom. I have lived pretty much everyday since then in a fog that was full of anger, hate, hurt, pain and sadness, worthlessness and self doubt. Thankfully for me, I really looked at my “God” and my Dad for help. I talk to my kids about both all of the time, so they know they are never alone and that there is a force greater than us, watching them and carrying them through everyday. I needed them, I needed God & my dad to get me back on my feet. I think I have found my way back, still sad but feeling alive again. So 2012, thank goodness you are gone and have taken your crap with you!!
2013 - Oh how I welcome you! I do not make New Year’s resolutions, because I think you set yourself up for failure with them. But I have some serious hope for myself this coming year. I hope that I can treat myself better, remember that I matter just as much as my husband and children. I hope that I can continue to raise my children to the best of my ability. I hope I can help them grow into their own person, filled with love respect and worth for not only themselves but all the people in their lives. I hope that my marriage can continue to grow with respect and love with a man who has taken so much these past few months and never shut me out. I hope that my faith will keep me grounded and growing. I hope that I can be a better daughter, sister, cousin and friend, to make sure that each person that I hold dear to me, knows just how much they mean to me. I hope to live everyday like it is my last and NEVER EVER have that feeling of guilt or regret that I didn’t say or do enough.
So 2013, I welcome you with open arms and look forward to a great year! Bring on the rainbows & unicorns!
"Begin today. Declare out loud to the universe that you are willing to let go of struggle and eager to learn through joy.” - Sarah Ban Breathnach
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